my coming-out party
January 15, 2008
i am able to think of no better time than now to officially come out of the closet…
yes. it’s true. i can’t hide anymore. i need to come clean. it truly has been an unbearable load to carry.
no longer. exhale…
i am able to finally stand tall and declare that i have a (drumroll please)…………fetish for feet.
don’t be weirded out. you can still wear your open-toed shoes around me. i promise you i won’t take any mental snapshots of your tootsies when you’re not looking. i’m not creepy. and i definitely won’t conjure the image later with them thar’ toes spending quality time with my erect penis. that would just be weird. well, i guess maybe that could happen if you have really exceptional feet and you’re a good sport. and it is, of course, assumed that they will be in really nice shoes. i am very particular about shoes…
damn. that was homolicious…
with ’less than hot’ babes, i’ve found that a really nice pair of feet can most definitely help their cause to get laid, but, let’s be honest. pretty feet can only compensate for so much. if i can pair a nice set of feet with another top-notch body part then we may have something with which i can work…
with hot chicks i am always completely horrified and incredibly disappointed whenever i discover that their feet are less than flawless. it’s sad when i’m not as aroused by some babe as i could be. but let’s think about happy thoughts…
like this one particularly sexy girl with whom i engaged in a one-night stand. i met her after the last time i trimmed my pubic hair, at the lush lounge (which by the way has a current wool pull factor of 7.5.) she had the softest skin ever felt by a human hand. she had a beautiful tattoo on the side of her torso. she was hottt(with atleast three t’s beeatch!!!) she even had a great tasting vagina. it reminded me of this particular ’05 burgandy i sampled at a recent dinner - it smelled a little funky at first but once it had a chance to open up a little, it was delicious…
unfortunately, along with the skin, face, tattoo, burgundian vagina, and kick-ass style, she also had a prehensile finger toe…
you know, a finger toe. that’s when the second toe is atleast a ‘good’ knuckle longer than the big toe. i mean, she could climb trees with those friggin’ things. as if that wasn’t bad enough, she also chose to wear a ring upon her right finger toe. her toe was about four inches long. the ring made it look about four feet long. i couldn’t recover. fortunately, i have been dabbling in meditation which enabled me to maintain my focus and my erection just long enough to ejaculate.
thank goodness…
January 15, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Hey Chris,
Thanks for changing that pic…the other one was nasty….BTW, nice feet, big guy.
January 16, 2008 at 1:08 am
thank you kind sir. the nails were a little long but who’s measuring???
January 18, 2008 at 11:46 am
OH GOD I absolutely HATE FEET. Even nice ones. The nicer the better, but in general I have always had an aversion to feet. And if they are nasty its even worse….thankfully I have been blessed with what I consider some pretty nice ones. Especially since they just about always have nails which are sheathed in blood red polish. But when it comes to other’s feet, and especially to men wearing those damned flip-flops or pretty much ANY sandals where their feet are visible, PLEASE! I ASK: WON’T YOU SPARE ME AND THE WORLD FROM YOUR HAIRY, UGLY MAN FEET??? If you gotta wear shorts as a dude rock ‘em like those cute little wigger boys and wear some nice, white sneakers with some of those nice, white, little short socks. It’s hot outside? Tough shit. Oh, you like that windy feeling between your toes?? I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FECK! THEM SHITS IS JUST NOT ATTRACTIVE!!
As a sidenote, one evening while watching a DVD on my laptop with a male friend of mine who was barefoot, he ACTUALLY pressed the “up” button for the volume on MY laptop with his big toe. And I screamed, “NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” ….”Please don’t EVER do that again!!!!!”
And we’ll just say he was a little confused but no longer touches anything that belongs to ME with his feet. Thank God.
As for brandy vagina’s with a trace of funk, I don’t get it. Why does it seem so hard for so many women to upkeep a nice, pleasant and fresh vagina??? I’ve never seemed to have a problem with it and continually get many compliments on my apparently delectable “flavor”…hhmm its not easy being a femme fatale I guess, but somebody’s gotta do it, ya know…
January 18, 2008 at 12:22 pm
dude. i think you may be the coolest chick ever. i’m still getting excited about you talking about monkey sex. i do loooove red nail polish…BTW i never wear flip-flops and i really want to taste that vagina of yours. i’m kidding…sorta’
January 24, 2008 at 3:07 am
nice picture. shame about her chimp feet.
January 24, 2008 at 3:09 am
um… let me elaborate: her ape feet, not yours. For a guy, you actually have nice feet. ahem.
January 25, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Haha why thank you for your compliment(s). And ‘kidding…. sorta’. “Sorta’” being the operative word! And thats great that you never wear flip flops-props to you, and like the other comments say, you do have some pretty nice feet yourself although ya the nails coulda used a little bit of a trim in the pic! But thats just some small potatoes….nothing serious.
& By the way, my monkey sex talk is backed up by some info from a class I had on human sexuality too! I wasn’t just, like, talking out my ass about it… these certain monkeys called Bonobos monkey are a lot like people and thier sex habits very interesting when considered in a human context; they definitely support your theories on people and monogamy! You might be interested in them…in just a reasearch kind of way !
January 25, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Oh and one more thing after a glance at your main post above, hats off to you again for your “recent” dabblings in meditation….that was something I got VERY big into for a good 8-10 months or so and really noticed very positive improvements in everything having to do with the life I now find myself…needless to say. a chain of very unfortunate events began occuring at that time, and instead of clinging to that which was helping me, I rather quickly fell away from my good habits and practices and regressed back again about 8 years…
But once you start doing it and getting something from it, it will always be a part of your life and it’s like riding a bicycle-you never really forget how to do it, you just lose some of your skill in being able to relax more quickly. And I’m getting back into it now, I do it a bit at night as I lay down right before drifting off to sleep ( which, by the book, should not be done in proper meditation-your supposed to do it sitting up… ) But you know, we do the baby-steps around here. And every little bit of meditation we do is exponentially beneficial to us…so its all good anyway! So ya keep up the good work!
January 31, 2008 at 1:53 am
i am intimately familiar with bonobos monkeys. i had sex with a girl once whose father, i’m certain, was one. actually, i think her mother may have been too. believe me when i say - she was anything but cute. she gave great monkey head though…
anyway - nice thoughts on meditation. do you wear clothes while sleeping????