livinlargeinsf

yes.  you read that correctly. 

in a shameless stab at self-promotion i am going to be offering my skivvies for sale.  pretty exciting,  i know.

and no,  we are not speaking of the ‘fresh out of the laundry - ooh, that smells so good’ kind of underwear.  we are speaking of the ‘i’ve been wearing these all week and haven’t showered once,’ kind of underwear.  the ‘i ran five miles and moved my bowels even though there were no paper products in my house,’ kind of underwear.  the ‘i haven’t trimmed my bush and i’ve had butt sex with a transexual,’ kind of underwear.  shall i continue? 

i thought not.

due to my fondness for attaching a number value to things in order to quantify their perceived value,  i have devised the ‘funk factor’ to clear up any possible confusion.  different from the ‘wool pull factor,’ but just as powerful, the ‘funk factor’ will also be on a scale from 1 to 10.  a score of 1 will mean that i wore said pair of underwear for 24 hours but did nothing to soil them beyond that of normal ball stink.  with each step of the scale the ‘funk’ will increase.  whether it be an extra cum stain or an actual skidmark,  believe me when i say that i have spent way too much time calculating all the respective values.

the particulars are being worked out as i’m writing this, but i felt the need to let the proverbial cat out of the bag and give livinlargeinsf readers a sneak peek.  don’t worry.  my ‘winter line’ will be unveiled just in time for christmas.  can you imagine a better stocking stuffer?

i thought not.