livinlargeinsf

i had no idea the chaffing was even happening. 

if i had,  i would have stopped doing whatever it was i was doing.  i had taken a yoga class, and i had gone for a jog, both while wearing the same pair of boxer briefs,  hanes boxer briefs to be exact.

i have only ever liked calvin klein underwear.  that is, when i wear underwear,  which is hardly ever.  i must say that my calvin klein’s have made more than a few babes unable to wait until christmas to open my ‘package,’  or should i say their ‘package.’  normally though,  it’s commando city, baby.  believe me.  as my ass throbbed,  i was left wondering “if only i’d gone commando this time…”

what is one to do when their ass gets incredibly chafed and painful to the touch?  i mentioned my dilemma to a friend.  his response?

vaseline.

really?  hmm.  i would have never in a million years even remotely considered the possibility of bringing vaseline anywhere even close to my bung. the more i thought about it though, and the more exascerbated my chaffing became, the better and better the curious ring of vaseline sounded to my virginal ears.

in fact i started to feel a strange sense of excitement, like the anticipation before a big date.  what should i wear?  should i take another shower?  should i trim my anal hairs?  should i buy myself a few drinks so that i can ‘loosen up?’ 

oh, the excitement!!!

i’ll admit it’s an unlikely pairing, but vaseline and i have been dating now for two weeks.  our love affair is just blossoming.  we are still at the stage of learning all of each other’s idiosyncracies but i can tell you that she is everything i’ve been looking for in a woman,  well, except for that whole woman part,  obviously. 

i may never go commando again.