livinlargeinsf

‘what happens in vegas,  stays in vegas?’ 

never, have i heard a bigger crock of shit, ever.  it’s the most misleading marketing campaign that i have ever had the misfortune to watch, listen to, absorb, believe.

i guess it just proves that no matter how brilliant i truly am,  even i am capable of being ‘duped.’

let me explain.

i went to vegas last weekend for a friend’s bachelor party.  we hired entertainment.  they sent us four ’smoking hot’ call girls.  while the one babe was tossing another’s salad i noticed that there were ‘things’ all over her ‘cooch.’  it wasn’t so bad that it kept me from munching on it.  i mean,  it still looked pretty good.  also, most of the sores were around her clitoris and i never touch a girl’s clitoris.  with all of those nerve endings?  i’m sorry,  but that’s kinda’ gross. 

so anyway,  i had four fingers in her ass.  there was ass-grease everywhere.  in the confusion i ’slid’ and accidentally touched some sores,  first with my tongue, then twice with my penis, then with my tongue a couple more times, then twice with my foot,  and then once more with my penis.  all by accident.  i didn’t sweat it though because i remembered that everything that happens in vegas stays in vegas. 

i mean that’s why i went to vegas,  so that everything would stay there.  i had no idea that it wasn’t an all-comprehensive ‘everything.’  i think someone may be getting sued…