livinlargeinsf

the high tide.  what a strange, marvelous, little shithole of a neighborhood bar on the southern most edge of the ‘tendernob.’ inside this most non-descript looking watering lair lies a mecca of confused tourists, mexican coke dealers, service industry workers and a macro-cosmic spattering of every other conceivable person in the world.

i used to go there occasionally for a cold one until the bartender asked me if i wanted a shot.  now, generally, when you’ve been having a good conversation with the bartender and she or he asks you if you’d like a shot,  it is assumed that it is being offered to you compliments of the bartender.  knowing what they say about ‘when one assumes,’ i walked right into accepting the aforementioned shot for which the bartender immediately charged me.  i paid and then proceeded to sit there in disbelief as she ‘worked’ her way down the bar.  i felt used. like a lot of victims, i blamed myself. i must have misunderstood. it must be me. 

so i returned.  i was once again having a great conversation with the very hot, very korean bartender, who has offered me her phone number twice and told me time and again how she wants to hang out, when she again asks me if i’d like a shot.  deja vu.  i hesitated for a moment and then agreed.  she poured each of us a drink. we did the drill as i watched her body language.  was she going to charge me? she motioned to me for money.  i asked her how much.  she told me $16.  i fell off my barstool. 

that sweet-talking,  prostitute of a bartender charged me for BOTH her and my shots!!!!!!!! i never offered to buy her a shot. she offered me a shot!!!!! she simply assumed the sale and i went along with it like a putz. i left the bar with my tail between my legs. my ego was battered.  my pride was bruised.  i was also really horny because she looked all kinds of sexy as she was stealing my money… 

i have since been in other bars in the neighborhood which employ asian bartenders and i have been swindled out of shots there as well, so just keep in mind that their customs appear to be much different than the western world’s.  it wasn’t a huge deal but when your bar tab is $80 instead of $40 it hurts,  especially when half of that is what the bartenders poured for themselves.  i never agreed to pay for these goddamn shots is what i wanted to say.  i did the next best thing and, once again, whimpered away like a lost puppy.  pathetic.

i told myself i would never return to the high tide.  i didn’t for a long time.  however,  i now live in the neighborhood.  so, for convenience sake, i occasionally find myself washing up on shore.  i am just a little older, a lot wiser and i always masturbate just before i go…

the wool pull factor for the high tide?…………. ‘6′