livinlargeinsf

i have made numerous allusions towards it in my writing but unless you know me personally you most likely are neither aware of the recent demise of my relationship with my son’s mother, nor could you probably give a rat’s ass.  while i expect you not to care, in case you’ve forgotten, this is all about me. don’t worry.  i shall not bore you with the details.  i mention it simply to offer insight on my current state of mind.  i am somewhere between officially declaring my celibacy and humping everything that moves.  a wide disparity, agreed, but that’s the point.  i don’t want to like girls.  i simply can’t help it. 

through this,  i have observed my mind’s subconscious attempts to steer me in the direction of self-preservation. by this i mean that i know i can benefit from a little time off from the world of dating.  my priority,  rightly,  needs to be self-improvement.  i, being the consummate alpha male, always want all the pussy, regardless.  fortunately, though,  i keep being attracted to girls who seem to be ‘unavailable.’  i am in the midst of a most dramatic dryspell. believe me when i say that it has not been for lack of trying. of course when i say dryspell i am referring to the women whom i actually ‘pursue,’  not girls in general.  i have more casual pussy than you can ’shake a stick at,’ dog (cat.)

first there was annie,  a seemingly very cool chick.  she is a waitress at a bar just a stone’s throw from where i used to live with my family (ouch, that hurts.)  i hardly ever hit on a girl while she’s at work but with this one,  i just couldn’t help myself… 

i have tended bar.  i have seen,  firsthand,  the wrong way to hit on ‘working’ girls.  the first rule is that one cannot show any signs of intoxication.  no one likes a drunk douchebag,  particularly women who work in the industry.  rarely will you find an exceptionally funny, witty drunk.  generally they are loud,  obnoxious annoyances.  remember this and you have already distanced yourself from the pack.

a hot cocktail waitress will get hit on countless times on a busy night.  ergo, go in on a quiet night, by yourself.  sit at the end of the bar where the computer/server station is located and allow the magic to happen.  with annie,  i struck up conversation.  i asked her work schedule.  i remebered her work schedule.  i returned two or three weeks later on one of those specified nights,  sat in the same exact spot and ‘voila.’  magically,  she said “haven’t i met you before?”

see,  going back a second time creates an air of familiarity and a non-threatening vibe,  both of which can only help the cause.  also,  we are talking about a top-notch girl here, one that is worth a few follow-up trips.  we’ve played phone tag and we’ve text-messaged each other a few times.  we hung out once and had a couple drinks.  i get the feeling she may have a boyfriend just because she acts interested but she can never hang out.  oh well.

then there was the babe from the wireless cafe where i create my literary magic.  she worked there and seemed super-chill and completely unaffected by status and money.  she was definitely cute, albeit, maybe a little strange.  i hung out with her on a couple of occasions only to find out she was moving to london, immediately.  oh, well.

then there was the young lady with whom i worked briefly.  i fancied her before i realized she was an alcoholic cokehead.  that may have been fun,  for a little while in my 20s,  but not now.

then there was another babe with whom i also worked, who dressed like pat benatar.  there was this other waitress,  the front desk girl,  this girl i sometimes see walking her dog, etc.  i think you get the point.  this has all been within the last month and a half.

then there’s the girl in the above picture.  i don’t know her name but i’ll obsess over her until the next girl that comes walking down the street,  or maybe the babe that just walked by me.  now, she was a hottie…